This is the first of a series of satires on the arts. 

“The Battle of the Books” came from the ubiquitous Zoom meeting background of bookshelves that trumpet the learning of the participant, or even their latest publication. It was Jonathan Swift who did the original Battle of the Books in 1704 as a satire on the conflict between ancient and modern learning. My battle is much more random with The Tiger who came to tea pitted against War and Peace, and the Da Vinci Code up against The Highway Code. It was Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire that started me off. If that dropped on your head it could be fatal.